Letter to my husband on Father’s Day

Dear Husband,

Firstly, I think we should probably be congratulating ourselves that we got to almost 7 months of parenthood without killing each other or the baby. Nailing this parenting gig, am I right? And here we are, your first Father’s Day. And I guess I just want to use this opportunity to say thanks and get mushy and lovey-dovey or whatever. Don’t get used to it because yuck , emotions, feelings, etc etc.

Since our baby boy came along, I’ve had an epiphany. I realize that I’ve kind of made it all about me. Many would argue that it is a huge adjustment for mum and baby to forge that bond and boy, haven’t I let you know about it? I’ve bitched and moaned and complained about how difficult I’ve found the transition to motherhood, repeatedly. I even started a blog about it! And you haven’t complained once, even though I imagine the adjustment was even greater for you because you didn’t only have a new son, you now have to deal with a total crazy bitch for a wife.

In the first couple of days after Thomas arrived, you jumped straight into action. You went to the pharmacy and demanded they ply you with products suitable for a new mum and totally delivered. You brought me “the most awesome breast pads with gel in them!” and throat lozenges after screaming myself hoarse during labour without me even asking. Coffee, muffins, ice blocks when I lost my appetite, bringing me magazines and books and movies, boxes of tissues for all the snot that was pouring out of me as the baby blues held their fierce grip, the list goes on. You always played it down saying you felt like you weren’t doing enough, but I couldn’t have gotten through it without you.

In those first few weeks and months, when I lost myself, you didn’t hesitate to be there every time I needed you. You did lots of behind the scenes rearranging to make sure you could be home to look after us, which I know in your line of work was no easy feat. Even now when I cry and feel overwhelmed with exhaustion, you stroke my hair and make me cups of tea and bring me chocolate. When I literally feel like I cannot have another human attached to me for another hour, you swiftly pick up our baby boy and send me away to the shower for some much needed alone time. Watching you two together makes the resentment I feel that you get to go to work and have “adult time” fade away, because I know how much you wish you could spend more time with us and how lucky we are to have this tiny human in our lives. Your matching smiles and crinkly eyes make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world that you guys are my guys.

And even though you never, ever, EVER hear the baby cry at night, even when I poke you/slap you/scream obscenities at you and you just reply with a gentle snore; I am so thankful that after I’ve fed the baby for the eleventy billionth time that night, I have you to snuggle up to. And even though you frequently do not do the nappy up tight enough when there’s a chronic poo situation occurring and it leaks out the side and we have to change entire outfits when out in public, I look forward to the day it happens when you’re holding him and get covered in shit. It’s only fair.

And lastly… Because even though you have to go away for work for weeks and sometimes months at a time and I get frustrated that I’m left to do everything on my own, I know that it hurts you far more than it hurts me. And I am forever grateful for how dedicated you are and how well you provide for our family. My favourite part of you coming home is watching our son’s face light up when you walk in the room. My heart swells with love every single time. Thank you for being the perfect dad for our little boy.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy xx

Happy Fathers Day to my husband

 

 

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